Boyfriend (crawling in at 3am on Saturday morning): "After you left,
Tara and I found a rubber truncheon on the dance floor and started
taking pictures of each other deep throating it. It was HILARIOUS."
Boyfriend (suddenly awake at 3am on Sunday morning): "Ow. My throat
hurts and my tonsils are swollen. I think I've got an infection. How
can this have happened?"