The Saga of Room 255

One of our fellow guests was the man in Room 255. I've met him, and he's terribly sweet - one of those lovely bachelor gentlemen who you imagine keeps orchids, does origami, and likes puppies.

He was telling me about how he was heading into his room the other evening when he couldn't help but notice he was being cruised by a handsome, muscly guy at the soda machine by his door. "After all," he said, "although I nipped back into my room swiftly, I couldn't help but notice he was touting for action... No one takes that long to buy a soda."

I was out for supper with Matt, just about to tell him this curious story, when he leaned over and said "Do you know the guy in Room 255?"

Why?

"I was trying to buy a soda last night, and the guy tried to pick me up. It was really intimidating - I was having real trouble trying to get the maching to take my dollar, and this guy kept wandering past, then went and stood in the open door of his room staring at me. It was scary - like being in a bathhouse. In the end I ran back to my room."

I told him Room 255's version of the story. And we both laughed.

***

Later that evening, we told Matt's roommate about Room 255. Daryl laughed, and then complained that he hadn't had any action all holiday, and that maybe he should go knock on Room 255 and see what happened.

We stared at Daryl in horror. And then got interrupted by the connecting door to their room being flung open. It was worse than Room 255 - their next door neighbours were drunk ozzies, who having heard voices decided to have a Par-Tay. There was a guy called Burke, and a gal called Sher. She was very drunk, telling us how she'd spent the evening trying to score cocaine off famous men by offering them rough bum sex. We stopped staring at Daryl in horror, and instead stared at her in horror.

She kept yelling "I'm real classy. And this is my kind of holiday. Theme parks. Shopping. And drugged up shagging!"

***

A couple of days later, Matt turns up at my room in the morning. He looks lovely, and, better, has gossip to tell me.

"Last night, Daryl and I were turning in, when all of a sudden Daryl announces he's going to go try out Room 255. He was gone for three hours. And doesn't want to talk about it."

***

A couple of hours after that, I'm out walking with Room 255. Who should we bump into but Matt and Daryl.

Room 255 suddenly starts hailing a taxi.
Daryl suddenly starts trying to call someone on a public payphone.

"Are you trying to hire a cab?" asks Matt.
"Not really. Who's Daryl trying to phone?"
"No one. He doesn't know anyone here." replies Matt.