Nothing much was going to happen today, so Lee suggested we travel to Croydon, and it was agreed that we should both go as chavs. We met at London Bridge – me top to toe in sports wear, with a cap. Lee was dressed, as usual in smart brown things. He shrugged. “I didn’t own anything hideous enough. I’m appalled that you do.”
Croydon was blissful – we went to TK Maxx, watched shoplifters, ate at Pizza Hut, bought bargain books, and fought to get into sports shops. Most amusingly, people there really were dressed like me, only with less layers. I was keeping warm thanks to a layer of ski thermals. What the hell was keeping these people alive?
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