Sunday, July 13, 2008

And Just A Hint of Apple

M&S are clearly employing someone with an apple fixation in their Smoothie department. Trying to buy an M&S smoothie that isn't, in fact, mostly apple juice topped up with a bit of strawberry pulp is a challenge.

They even beat you on the double bluff. Their "Kiwi and Apple Cooler - fresh Kiwi with a hint of apple" turns out to be 53% apple juice. That sounds like the kind of hint that involves a brass band and a banner.

Now, yes, this sounds more pathetically middle class than usual, but I'm living off bloody smoothies at the moment, and have taken against the inescapable tang of apple juice. An easier solution, it turns out, is a McD's thick shake. Absolutely no fruit, guaranteed.

I prefer not to think that M&S are just bulking up their smoothies with the cheapest thing they can lay their hands on. Instead, I'm convinced they've employed some apple obsessive, who takes perverse delight in inviting people round for supper and then crowing at the various ways in which he's hidden apples in everything from the soup to the curry and the chocolate blancmange.

My mum is just the same about sultanas, and I can't stand those either.


Hugh said...

nope, it's definately a cheap bulk up

Skip said...


Qenny said...

Perhaps there was some unintended honesty in the description of the Kiwi & Apple Cooler. When they say "a hint of apple" they might mean "we make this shit from such piss-poor produce that even though apples make up 53% of the contents, that's only enough to impart a hint of apple flavour".

Might be a bit tight to fit all that on the label, granted.

Orchis said...

Why are you living off smoothies at the moment ?