Tuesday, December 02, 2008

The scream of love

So, last week, the cat does A Cute Thing. In order to get breakfast at 5am, she slides gently up the bed and nuzzles me lovingly in the face, purring quietly and rubbing my nose until i blink and wake up. At which point, she gives a delighted little mew, another nuzzle and then trots off to the kitchen.

Naturally, I give in, whilst thinking "that is the most selfish thing I've ever shared a bed with that isn't blonde."

Of course, cats being cats, she's discovered something that works, and has repeated it every morning since. Unfortunately, the loving tarnish has worn off and her true nature has emerged. Instead of the gentle nuzzling, purring and kissing, she's settled for the short cut of jumping on my throat and screaming in my face.

Is it wrong to pray for a road traffic accident?


Purest Green said...

I once knew a cat we called ULB (ungrateful little bitch). We could never leave laundry in the basket and never leave the drawers open or she'd suck on all the pants. Low on brains, big on claws. How I hated her.

Orchis said...

Type 'cat feeder automatic' into Amazon.

Skip said...

Oh Orchis, I was wondering about just that.

On the other hand, last night it was really cold and she crawled under the duvet and snuggled up next to me purring gratefully. So I decided I loved her again. For. The. Moment.