We stagger into a club called Lust on Lombard. It is far nicer than any London club - it's plush, and full of very pretty people. All of them, in various states, waiting for Ru Paul.
She comes on at 1.30am (by which time I'm almost comatose from jet lag). She sings three rubbish R&B tunes, yells at the crowd "I am a fabulous bitch! Yeah!" then lip-syncs some more.
"Would you bitches like to ask me any questions?" she demands.
A hand shoots up. "I just wanted to say that you are an idol of mine. You are beautiful and sexy and clever and I really love you."
"Why, thank you! Next question, someone else?"
Another hand. "I just wanted to say that I admire you for being both a comedienne and an actress. You are supremely skilled."
"Yeah. Next question."
She then sang a song called "Give Me Money!" In which she sashayed up and down stage, snatching money from people waving it at her.
And then she sang the song again, to get some more money.
Then she left the stage.
I never thought I'd miss the Black Cap.