Thirty

Things I did in the last year....

• Bought a central heating system.
  
• Got an IMDB page
  
• Beat Philip Schofield, but not Dick and Dom in a poll.
  
• Discovered Wales, Scotland and Australia. It rained most in Australia.
  
• Nearly died.
  
• Been messily in love with the wrong man.
  
• Failed to fall in love with the right man. Sorry.
  
• Met a man called James Bond.
  
• Discovered the joys of depression. None.
  
• Given up smoking. Four times.
  
• Met the living author I most admire.
  
• Built a wardrobe.
  
• Finished knitting a scarf.
  
• Learnt backgammon.
  
• Played Strip Twister.
  
• Got grey hair.
  
• Kissed in the New Year.
  
• Joined a Posh London Club.
  
• Been to a Battle of the Bands.
  
• Learnt to surf.
  
• Taken opium.
  
• Eaten hospital food.
  

Weird places where I've done Very Bad Things:

• A cage.
  
• Toy section of a department store.
  
• Traffic bollard.
  
• Blue Peter garden.
  

Well, that was my youth. Now, I guess, all men in their twenties are just "prey".