Monday, February 25, 2008


Edinburgh and Glasgow are two of the prettiest cities in the world. Aberdeen was bound to disappoint, but all the same... did it have to be quite so cold and grey and completely lacking in cafes?

There's only so long you can sit in the food court at a shopping mall. Try it. There's a reason they make the coffee so bad.

The real disappointment about Aberdeen was the men. Scottish men are normally 17% more attractive than the English, and neds are on average 24% rougher than chavs. Except for Aberdeen, where the sheer pitiless cold pebbledashes the faces and everyone is constantly eating fried food with the bored docility of cattle.

There's a harbour museum with a model of an oil rig.


Qenny said...

On the other hand, the granite looks absolutely glorious during the summer!

Skip said...

i don't believe they have summer in aberdeen. i fully believe the Council sold it off in the 1970s.

Qenny said...

It can be glorious - honest! I've been nude sunbathing at Balmedie Beach (extensive area of dunes a few miles north of the city, slightly dodgy in a homosexualist kind of way) in September. And it didn't freeze off.

FireFawkes said...

Oi min! Ayberdeen's nae 'at bad! Granted, it's bin a wee fihle since 'av bin up 'air in 'e Heathen North, bit 'ers hunners o cafes, ye jist wisnae lookin right!

And Archibald Simpson's architecture's stunnin'. Weel... si'pose 'e grey granite dis tend tae blend in we 'e grey sky, bit if ye catch it right afeter a shooer o rain an 'e sun comes oot, athin looks like it's made oot o silver an glass.

An as fir 'e talent, onybody 'ats gweed lookin is aff like the clappers doon to 'e big smoke as soon as 'ey can. (like masel! :p)

Did you get all that?

Qenny said...

firefawkes' comment was a tough read, but for all the effort that must have gone into the composition, it didn't read like Doric to me. More like Dundonian.

BTW, Skip, did you encounter any really heavy, authentic Doric-speakers (that being the local accent)? They have a marvellous way of confusing everyone with their interrogates, partly because they replace the "wh" with a "f", and partly because, not content with the wh/f thing being confusing enough, they also change the ends of the words. So "when?" becomes "fan?", "where" becomes "far", "who" becomes "fa", etc. Marvellous!

Qenny said...

(I meant interrogatives rather than interrogates, but I'm sure you got that.)