My new friend

I have a new gay friend. This is scintillating and marvellous, if you're me. Especially as he's an enormous tart.

We meet up for tea last week and I ask him how his job interview went. He screws his face up. "Not so good, no. This interviewer kept on asking me about 'my experience' and I couldn't work out what he was on about. After I walked out, I realised that I'm fairly sure I've slept with him."

"Only fairly sure?"

He shrugs.

This week he had another interview. I toy with witty text about sleeping with the hr consultant, can't make it work and end up just asking him how it went.

"Bad. This time I definitely slept with the guy."