Dear Graydon Carter
While Vanity Fair is undoubtedly the best magazine in the world, as a subscriber I feel I have to point out a failing of the mag.
Your freebies are rubbish. Why do you perpetually send me invitations to diamond sales at Sotheby's, Pret A Porter shows in Milan, and exclusive discounts on Zebra Hunts on A Private Island?
Take a leaf out of your rivals, sir. Smash Hits magazine have just given me two pens (one smells of violet) and some heart-shaped post-it notes.