Bloody Students

On a whim I went to the Black Cap for a drink last night. The sexy scoutmaster from last week was there (sigh), with his boyfriend (ugly, of course. they always are).

I also discovered that (hurrah) I'm back to having panic attacks in crowded gay clubs. When I'm on my own, the only thing that stops me fleeing is filling my legs with vodka. What a curious quirk.

Anyhoo - there was a drag queen, hula hoop contests, and a water pistol fight, so it was all great fun.

And then I got chatting to a Media Student called Matt. I've never really met a media student before (oddly, you don't meet many of them in the media. Try Tesco's). He was telling me about their gruelling coursework - this week's assignments include:

1) List the names of 10 TV Production Companies
2) Draw a TV timeline from the start of the BBC through to the launch of ITV3
3) Watch 28 Days Later and write an "interrogation of genre"

Apparently, last term they had to watch Coronation Street "for a whole week" looking for formula and signs.

Sudden flashback to my time at University, when I asked if I could write an essay on Dennis Potter (I was feeling Brave and Adult - I'd lost my virginity the night before). My tutor leaned out of the window, puffing on her tenth cigarette.

"Hmmn. Television. Yes. Why not? I saw a programme once...."

Back to Matt. What a curious beast he was. One of those shags whose charms rub off all too easily. By the morning phrases like "Basically, right, my maturity scares people, 'cos, well, anyway..." were wearing thin. He also had his own theory about zombies:

"Imagine if you met a real one. In the street. Like, people would try and help it, cos they'd think it was just an ill man. Or woman. So they'd try and nurse it. Or cure it. Or something. If they were real. But that would be wrong, as they'd just try and infect them. It's frightening, isn't it?"

I glared at him. "Oh, you're like my friend Becky. She sits behind me in class. She says I am a one, you know. But she thought the bloke in 28 Days Later was well fit too, so that's okay."