Sunday, November 28, 2004

Liver Betrayal

I still don't think I had more than five vodkas. And yet, yesterday, my body disagreed. And in a very sneaky way.

BODY: Your head hurts.
ME: It's seven o'clock. I'll take some pills. Go back to sleep.

BODY: Your head still hurts.
ME: We took pills.
BODY: No. You just dreamt you did. Pills, now, please. And a tiny glass of water.

8.30 am
ME: Can I get up and go to the gym now?
BODY: I'll get back to you on that one.

9 am.
ME: Oh, come on. I can't be hungover. No.
BODY: ...
ME: Are you still here?
BODY: ...
ME: Okay then. Let's go lie on the sofa. We'll watch TV. You can keep your eyes shut.

9.30 am
BODY: I'd like a yoghurt.
ME: Are you sure?
BODY: Yes please.

9.45 am
BODY: I didn't like that yogurt.
ME: Then why did you ask for it?
BODY: *strange giggling*

11 am
ME: What am I doing lying on the living room floor?
BODY: It's cold. I like cold.
ME: Am I better yet?
BODY: I think so.
ME: Shall we get up then.
BODY: One thing. Could you ask your flatmate to cook with less smells?
ME: What?
BODY: That. Toast. It. Smells. Horrible.
ME: What?
BODY: .... help me...

BODY: All better now. Another yoghurt please.
ME: Are you sure? You didn't like the last one.
BODY: Yoghurt! Yoghurt! Yoghurt!
ME: Okay.

12.15 pm
BODY: I didn't like that yoghurt either.
ME: Then why did you ask for it?
BODY: I lied.
ME: Well, what are we going to do about it?
BODY: ....
ME: Oh no. No. No. No.
BODY: Run.

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