Yesterday was Mark's birthday party, and also the day that the Independent published a list of the 100 Most Influential Gays In The Country. Most of Mark's guests were rather cross that they weren't on it.
This did not include Jerome, still furious at his last appearance on this blog.
JEROME: Why you tell such lies? It's all wrong!
ME: I'm sorry. You're correct. The man you were with wasn't a Taxi Driver but a Tax Adviser. I misheard?
JEROME: Are you saying my English is shit, you liar? What about that Brazilian -
ME: No, you are correct. You didn't go to the toilet to look at his penis. I apologise.
JEROME: Quite. I am not like that. I looked at it on the dancefloor.
[ minutes later ]
JEROME: So, boys, did we go out much? Me, I don't. Not really. Why go to all that trouble when you can just go to a sauna and find them all undressed already? Of course, last time I went, there was just a man in the steam room wearing a baseball cap? Can you believe that? So I just farted in that steam room. As a protest. How dare they?
[ even later, Jerome was introduced to Mark's adorable boyfriend, a terribly polite Canadian called Paul ]
PAUL: So, how do you know Mark?
JEROME: Through sex.
I've decided to reclassify Jerome as just a fabulous force of nature. Rather marvellously, he found out about this blog entry from friends of his in Milan. Well, hello there!