Met up for a drink with Adam. Naturally, when people become exes, we expect to move on and for them to have the decency to become spinsters.
This has not, sadly, been the case with Adam. He's moved on from breaking hearts and bank balances to breaking... well, other parts. It appears he's been unusually, ah, active.
"He was Portuguese, but his English was really fluent... until we got to hospital, and then suddenly, I had to do all the explaining."
"What did you do to him?"
"Well, you see, he said he was a complete bottom and I just got carried away and..."
"What? You broke his bottom? With that little thing?"
And that's when he slapped me.