Best thing about Christmas? Oh, the food poisoning, undoubtedly.
How brilliant. Weight loss over Christmas. Even better - loss of appetite. Christmas lunch was some tomato soup.
My parents, bless 'em, had worked really very hard to make the house habitable. In a "oh my god, how do you live here?" way.
They'd put some carpet down in two rooms. They'd even lit a fire in one.
Most of the house was roofed. And some of the roof didn't leak.
They still hadn't unpacked the television. Or found any DVDs.
But delightfully, they'd made a bedroom for me in the garden shed/conservatory. In place of any heating, they'd left a bottle of whisky by my bed. They know me, and I love them for it.