Thursday, January 10, 2008

Meanwhile, on The Archers...

I listen to the Archers cycling home, headphones secrued by my helmet. This means I can't rip them out of my ears whenever Will Grundy's drippy new girlfriend opens her mouth.

So, if a raddled gay pedalled past you shouting "shutup!shutup!shutup!" at 7pm last night, now you know.

Seriously, it's all go in England's rural portal to hell. First ghastly Shiobhan had cancer. Or rather, it's fairer to say that cancer had Shiobhan. She managed to be irritating even in a coma, which is surely a first for radio.

With Shiobhan out of the way, Brian and St Jenny of Martyr have to bring up Rory, the genetic hellspawn of Shiobhan and Brian Aldridge. If he's not wetting the bed he's asking what death is ("Well, it's like when Mr Badger said goodbye to all his friends and went down the very long tunnel" explains Brian helpfully).

Dull gays Ian and Adam still manage to tick the box without stuffing it. Adam hired another load of Polish strawberry pickers without incident, and Ian decorated the living room in Japanese style. Oh, and they got married.

Jacks' still mad, drunken soak Lillian may be losing Matt to a local newt expert, and Vile Kenton has smoothly managed to make his girlfriend's rape all about him.

Elsewhere in Ambridge, Linda Snell's failed to burst into flames, and Shula hasn't yet grown angel's wings, but it's surely just a matter of time.

5 comments:

Lippy said...

It's Ruth I can't bear - what with the giving birth "Daived, Daived ow ow ow!", the not having an affair and worst of all not spotting the lambs were fly blown -even if you can't see fly blown lambs you can bloody smell them. Stupid cow.

Skip said...

oh, after that snogging in the cow sheds, she is Dead To Me.

Knit Nurse said...

Seeing photos of Archers characters is always a big disappointment. And quite annoying cos now I'm trying to guess which is which. I suppose the beardy one must be Ian. No wonder Brian hates Adam, he looks unbearably smug.

Orchis said...

Yes, the beardy one is Ian. Matching wedding outfits - a bit naff I always think ! And who's the Mummy ? My money would be on whiny Adam.

Skip said...

God - I've never gone as far as imagining which one bottomed. I always imagined it would be Adam on top, teeth clenched, climaxing with a primal shriek of "I hate you Brian!"...

But then again, every summer I imagine he holds special "interviews" for all those young Polish strawberry pickers.