Modern romance

Him: "Would you like to go out with me?"
Me: "As in be your boyfriend?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "How seriously?"
Him: (sighing) "Yes, you can change your Facebook status."
Me: "Brilliant! Okay then."

Curiously, since changing my Facebook status I've been deluged with offers of... well, sex, really. And when I say deluged, I mean about five. Which is a lot if you're me.

I point this out to new bloke (who we'll call the Lawyer). "It's fine if you want to dump me," I say, "Cos I've already got five shags lined up."

This turns out not to be the right thing to say.

Meanwhile, since changing my status, Facebook has stopped deluging me with dating adverts. Instead it's now asking me if I want to lose weight or get treatment for baldness. In a single click I've gone from young buck to fat old man.