On Monday the Lawyer is very apologetic and I am childish. He texts to say "I assume you're not talking to me."
Lee tells me that in order not to seem Mental I should try and sort this out. At least end it nicely. He says at the very least with a text.
Eventually I text back, "Correct! Something's wrong, and I'm too tired to want to sort it out."
He texts (boring isn't it?): "Okay then. I'll delete your number."
I reply: "Fair enough. Things clearly weren't working, but if it's something I've done wrong, I'm sorry. Thank you."
I decide at this point that breaking up by text is brilliant. You can do it while smoking and watching Battlestar.
It's then that the Lawyer calls. He's really sorry, it's all a misunderstanding, and he misses the sound of my voice.
I pause Battlestar. And we talk. "Oh well," I think, "The final five can wait."