Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tonight you're not mine

"Hello!" I say to the man at the bar. He turns and looks at me, and then he smiles.
"Two things you should know," he says, "My name's Joshua and I'm a complete slut."

He is also Irish and has "piercing blue eyes". I am, of course, both confused and grateful that I keep meeting men who proudly advertise their frequent flyer status.

Of course, it all goes horribly wrong. Why wouldn't it? It's my line of work. Oh, I'm evasive, but it doesn't help. His piercing blue eyes widen. "What kind of spin-off tat?" he asks, "Cos I'm fairly sure I've seen you on-"

oh no.

"Oh my god! I am the biggest Doctor Who fan in the world!"

oh please no.

"I'm desperate to write for the show. Who can I talk to? You must know."

no, really I don't work there any more. Sadly, there's always been a plan in my head for how this is supposed to happen. I finally meet a sane Doctor Who fan and we spend our days happily making sweet love while rearranging our DVD collections to neither's satisfaction. Only this isn't how it's working out...

"I have a boyfriend."


"And I drive him mental with Doctor Who."

course you do.

"He never lets me talk about it."

why would he?

"And, you know, much as I'd like to sleep with you, I think I'd prefer to have you as a friend. Wow. This is so exciting."



GalFord said...

Well, for once I'm glad that I don't get out and around socially or any other way... the weirdos you keep meeting make me fear for the human race... where I'll stay somewhere at the back, slightly out of breath plodding along watching all the drama in front of me!

Erskine-Davidson said...

I don't know why, but there's something quite poignant about that encounter.

Granted you didn't get any nookie though.

Skip said...

In my defence, I do leave out the normal ones. Or the ones that are just you know, lovely.

Does that make me duller?

Erskine-Davidson said...

Darling, i doubt you could ever be dull. You're too smart.

Discretion is a wonderful thing and highly attractive. All the normal/lovely ones will be happy to know that you defend their honour.

Though it might be worthwhile to update us on the ratio of weirdos to normal to lovely. Just so we know and are assured.