Lee and I went to Oxford. We rowed a boat. We failed to smoke pipes.
We went dancing.
It's strange to discover that the Coven, the club in Oxford that used to terrify me more than anything on a Friday, is actually small, badly organised, and full of unattractive men.
The DJing was all over the place, the drinks were rubbish, and the big dance floor was empty cos the music was much more hardcore than the crowd.
In amongst it all, Lee stood, magnificent, and a little bored. The only man he found attractive turned out to have two left feet. Which he'd left at home.
The only man I found attractive, was there with his boyfriend. He looked like a cute combination of Owen Wilson and a bog brush. His boyfriend looked like a bad tempered boot salesman.
I wandered up to the cute guy. "It's a shame you're here with your boyfriend."
"Isn't it? Do you want my number?"
Actually taking his number proved to be quite hard. Neither Lee nor I had a phone on us, and the staff didn't have pens. Lee and I spent a miserable minute trying to memorise Adam's number ("07978? no? 08798? 605? 600?") before Adam revealed that he had a phone.... which he then used to text me all weekend.... with bad thoughts.