Just booked my holiday in Edinburgh. How good does this sound?
"Well, I can offer you either a small single room with washbasin for £25 a night - or your own apartment in the heart of the gay village for £40 a night."
Guess which one I chose?
"Right - when you check in, look for the rainbow sign. One thing - We share our check in with a gay sauna."
This will be the best holiday ever.