Hoxton Hoax - Trashbat

I was taken in completely by trashbat. The tube posters of an Smug Hoxtonian holding a Nasty-Shaped Phone and declaring "It's well weapon" have been irritating me for the last week.

I know people like this. I work with people like this. I despise them and their nasty-haired, sneering cool. I was agonised that finally these fools have their own kind of phone. These twats who think DJing involves merging one R&B record slowly with another, who once owned micro-scooters, who snorted fat dot-com redundancy packages... oh, i loathe them and their twatty hair.

I loathe them for their secret collection of Oasis albums. I loathe them for the fact that they secretly know about wine. I loathe them for admiring Kate Moss's heroin twat boyfriend while secretly hoping he doesn't smell too much. I loathe their collection of ironic corduroy. I loathe that they feel they own the Millennium Falcon.

I love the fact that there's now a Channel Four show dedicated to mocking their horrible, stupid, back-hair infested, flicky-highlighted and self-deprecating fisherman's hat-wearing lifestyle.