Jonte Leung-Jones

My ex-flatmates started texting me in a flurry from Australia. First Lorraine's waters broke, then she was sent back from hospital, then, all of a sudden, in a mad flurry she was back in and then a couple of hours later, out popped Jonte Leung-Jones.

I immediately rang Paul. "Is that a boy or a girl?"

"Boy," huge sigh of relief from Paul, "And he's got the mum's nose."

This is a good thing. With their mix, there was some trepidation about what the beast would look like. Lorraine is almost five foot Australian Chinese. Paul is nearly seven foot, stringy and with a big nose. For some of the pregnancy, the lump was named "Anything but a girl".

Paul's promised to ring me up later with more details of the tearing. I really don't want to know.