There should be special cash machines for Us. The people who know how to use them.
Normal cash machines would still be available for slightly puzzled blokes and baffled tourists.
And then there would be special cash machines for Daffy Girls. They'd be painted pink, have scented candles, and a nice fluffy rabit toy. Every time you press a button, it'll play jolly ringtones, and the onscreen menu is hosted by Brad Pitt. Anything to put these poor dears at ease as they try and carry out some terribly complicated action - like fiddle around in their purse for their card, or hack into the pentagon.
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