Rainforest

If you are going to do a rainforest, you might as well do it with servants. Why backpack through arduous conditions and wipe your bum on a banana leaf when you can sit in a secluded cottage, reading Perry Mason novels and watching nature just happen merrily around you.

The Bell helped. When we arrived, the hotel staff pointed at it. “If you want anything, just pull the string, and we’ll come.”

We spent an afternoon looking at it, as suspicious as cats. It just seemed wrong. After two days, it was an essential part of life – I don’t understand how I managed to boil my own kettle, mix my own drinks or make my own snacks. (Note to self: Get really subservient boyfriend. Who is also good cook).

The lovely thing about being so high up was the weather. We’d be sat reading on the veranda, and the clouds would come rolling in, blocking out the trees, the valley, and then us.