Sunday, August 29, 2004

Things we've never done

On Friday night Lee and I went to Hyde Park Rose Garden. Where you can find pretty men wandering around looking for sex. Well, this is a lie. On Friday night you find the kind of men With Nothing Better To Do.

The following shouted conversation takes place behind a big bush...

LEE: I need more. Get it out!
JAMES: Allright. Let me just get it ready.
LEE: Looks fine to me.
JAMES: If you're sure. Grab the top.
LEE: Yeah. This is looking ready.
JAMES: Would you mind twisting it gently please at the top?
LEE: Sure. Don't worry - it's not going to go everywhere.
JAMES: You're sure you're okay swallowing it?
LEE: Can't wait.
JAMES: It's nearly there.
LEE: Oh yes... yes.... yes...
JAMES: I can feel it-


Another bottle of babycham triumphantly opened. I wiped my hand down on Lee's jacket, patted him fondly and said "Cheers for that, mate." Then went off to retrieve the cork.

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