I belong to a swanky private club in London. I love it, but have always felt a fraud whenever I go there.
Ironically, my club phoned this morning to tell me that I was a fraud.
A friend had signed in as me last night. The club had cottoned on in seconds, and asked him to leave. He was less than gracious about this.
My club were silky voiced about the incident: "Obviously we wouldn't want you to think that this in any way jeopardised your membership. No no, not at all. We've just made a tiny little note of this against your name, barely a mark.
"We're so sorry to even be phoning you - poor you to have such friends! No, don't apologise - it's already forgotten. And we know it won't happen again, so we won't even hear talk about withdrawing your membership. Please, think no more about it."