Monday, January 09, 2006

Flat-u-lence

The flat is very large. A bit too large for my intended minimalist chic.
Or, as Edward put it, "It looks like we've been burgled."

The vague feeling of being nobbled continues when I try and connect a TV or phone line.

It turns out that the flat doesn't actually have any TV aeriels or phone ports. Nothing. Just weird sockets on every wall labelled "NTL". There's a package in the kitchen labelled "Welcome to NTL - about what we can offer you" and an invitation to call Eugene Cumberbatch.

With a name like that, how could I say no? Sadly, Eugene is on annual leave for a fortnight. But suggests I try the main NTL Cardiff number. Which rings out.

Instead, I ring NTL Customer Services, who, after 10 minutes on hold ("We value you. We value your call. We value entertainment"), transfer me to the Sales team.

"Sorry sir, but we don't supply NTL to that area."

"But there are boxes on the wall saying NTL and no other way of getting TV in the building...."

"Sir, I'd just like to clarify that NTL does not supply your area. Thank you for your call. *click*"

uh?

6 comments:

SL&V said...

Do you have an inbuilt ability to fail whilst on the phone to call centres?
You always have a really hard time of it, usually finishing with them hanging up on you.
Want me to "av a word"?

Will said...

When I used to have NTL, I'd end up being told my call was important for up to half an hour at times.

Telewest, on the other hand, keep sending flyers to my flat inviting me to sign up, and then, when I try, coquettishly tell me that I'm not in a cabled area.

Skip said...

When you go to hell, you go to an NTL call centre.

Luckily, I now have working NTL in my flat. The doorman of the building had a spare digibox under his desk and some pliers.

frobisher said...

I get the NTL cable/telephone service - watch your step as they try to overcharge me every couple of months. Scum.

Matt said...

There is a reason my old boss who managed an NTL call centre used to refer to it as his "NT-hell"

No wit intended... he hated it.. it was in bedford

(btw yes I am bored, yes that is why I'm reading your february entry in april..)

Matt said...

oh god it's January's entry... didn't realise how bored i was