Having exhausted Fake Marple, I ordered up this fantastic 1999 series, starring Diana Rigg as an ageing flapper who solves crimes with her chauffeur. A typical episode goes something like this:CHAUFFEUR: Is it really wise going to this country house, my lady?
MRS B: Of course it is. Solid, cold and wintry - It reminds me of an ex-husband. Whereas I go like a tiger. And happily make inappropriately vulgar sexual remarks all the way through.
CHAUFFEUR: Nearly there now.
MRS B: I wish I had a cock.
THEY ARRIVE. MRS B HAS A GIN AND CHANGES OUTFITS BEFORE GETTING OUT OF THE CAR.
NICE YOUNG GIRL: I’m so glad you could come down.
MRS B: Yes, you’re terribly lucky.
NICE YOUNG GIRL IS PROMPTLY DROWNED
MRS B: Well, that puts a damper on things.
CHAUFFEUR: You used that pun last week.
MRS B: Oh. What a wet weekend – have we used that recently?
SOMEONE ELSE DIES. MRS B CHANGES OUTFITS.
MRS B: Of course, the unique thing about this show is that every now and then I turn to the camera and address you, the lucky viewer. It gives me an air of ironic aloofness. And you really should do something about that sofa.
CHAUFFEUR: There’s been another murder. Someone’s been strangled.
MRS B: Really? How breathtaking. I’ll be in the drawing room wearing my especially arched eyebrows.
PETER DAVISON: Hello! I’m playing Inspector Christmas.
MRS B: Fuck me. Only on Sunday night TV would you get this. You’re not going to die are you?
PETER: Good lord no, I’m in every episode.
MRS B: In that case get me a scotch. Is your first name Mary, Inspector Christmas?
PETER: No, that would be going too far. It’s Harry.
MRS B: Make it a double. Oh, and you at home? Your dog is widdling on the Radio Times. Stop it at once.
CHAUFFEUR: I’ve made your bedroom ready, my lady.
MRS B: Lovely. Of course, we’re like, totally shagging.
CHAUFFEUR: Yes, my lady.
MRS B CHANGES OUTFITS AGAIN. SOMEONE ELSE DIES.
MRS B: Oh, this is complete wank isn’t it?
7 comments:
More to the point did you watch LEWIS on Sunday night?
I did - but only because I miss Morse so very much, and it was pants but it had Oxford looking beautiful and I just really wanted a ghost in an old red jag to come driving around the corner!
Lewis was great - my problem was I spent the entire of it making particularly tricksie Egyptian Lego and staring at Laurence Fox going "Hmmn. Are you sexy? You're certainly sinister..."
I've a suspicion they've got a Deep, Complicated and Interesting backstory planned for him. And hopefully a scene where he wrestles in a damp vest so that we can Make Up Our Minds.
Plus, of course, very bizarre seeing Anna Massey playing my old tutor again. It was weird enough 10 years ago - but freakier now that Avril's dead.
I could see Laurence being your type - I'm ashamed to admit he's a bit cerebral for me, apart from Morse of course, I prefer totty from the rougher end of the spectrum!
And I agree - weirdness!
I'm fascinated now to know which if any History tutors you had, and how with that pedigree you escaped a legal career - for which well done you btw!
Actually, I did English - but my tutor, Avril Bruten, was an amazing lady, who Anna Massey was basically playing...
A small, white-haired genius, specialising in obscure knowledge and esoteric codes. She adored all of her students, but also exacted a grip of genuine terror by simply being So Damn Smart. She also celebrated all the anglo-saxon holidays.
The Mrs Bradley Mysteries themselves, I tended to find a bit dull, but they were greatly enlivened by Dame Diana herself. But then, what wouldn't be?
It was also useful for its early use of Gratuitous Lesbians, several years before ITV stole the idea.
As for Laurence Fox, have you seen a film called The Hole? If you're on the cusp at the moment, it'll definitely make you a fan...
Last month I received a used book from amazon and it has an ex-libri by an oxford college on the inlay: it's for Avril Bruten...
lpeyrani@hotmail.com
THAT IS AN UTTERLY AMAZING FACT.
Lovely Avril.
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