Monday, February 05, 2007

Planning a holiday

The Fabulous Lee has suggested we go Get-Away-From-It-All together. Original plans were for somewhere exciting like LA. He's now decided, maliciously, on Gran Canaria. I predict it would go like this:

Enter James. He is running across the beach.

JAMES: Puff! Pant! Puff! Pant! You'll never guess!

LEE: (raising elaborate sunglasses to reveal more elaborate sunglasses beneath) yeeeees?

JAMES: Ooh! He was so exciting! It was! Ooh! And! Lovely Things!

LEE: You've sucked off another German in the dunes haven't you?

JAMES: (crestfallen) Oh.

LEE: And you now think he loves you.

JAMES: I... (bravely) He was called Rutger.

LEE: Obviously. As you're up, I'll have an ice cream with a flake. I wouldn't advise it for you, though.

JAMES: I'm not that lactose intolerant.

LEE: But you are that fat.

JAMES: Okay! Um. I'd better wash quickly. The sand gets everywhere, you know.

LEE: As do you, dear. Don't forget I'll be having magnificent sex with the surly surfing instructor later.

JAMES: Oh, he's dreamy! I do hope it's meaningful.

LEE: Well, it'll make you quietly jealous. That's meaning enough. Now, be off with you. (The sunglasses click back into place)

JAMES runs off, humming happily to himself.

LEE waits.

LEE: (quietly) Oh Rutger, you can come out now...

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