This is quite the best "I'm off then!" work email I've received for ages. And it's from a publicist:
I wanted to let you all know that I have taken the very, very difficult decision to leave this wonderful world (and it truly is a wonderful world).
The reason for my departure isn't that they never changed the colour of my office from this appalling yellow - but a more happy one named David who lives down in Cornwall. He's a wine merchant - I'm no fool.