This isn't the first time that I've been mistaken for Marlon Dingle from Emmerdale. It's always an ominous sign.
Let's just look at Marlon shall we?
Last time this happened, I remarked sourly "I look like a z-list 'sleb, only fatter."
Oh, how true. You see, I'd taken an old suit in to be let out slightly (nothing major, I thought - it was originally a 30, and I wanted it to be 32, just to give me a bit of comfort). All went well until the tailor reached for his tape.
"38 inch waist, Marlon. You look smaller on TV."
I nearly reeled as much as when I woke up in hospital to learn I had no white blood cells. Oh my god! How did I get obese without noticing it? While fitting easily into normal size jeans...?
Naturally, I'm still in a state of denial. I think I'm a 32 at my porkiest, and his measuring tape lied. The numbers just slipped a little.
"Don't worry about it, Marlon. Me? I just keep losing weight - it has to go somewhere!" My dry cleaner chuckled fondly as I left.
3 comments:
hmm, either the "ME" picture is very old? or you have some fat depositing disorder that old deposits on your waist or the tape lies.......
our survey says.........
I know we've not seen each other in person for a while, but you've certainly never struck me as porky. Trim and svelt are more likely descriptions, in fact.
Mind you, I was amused to see in the new SFX Special, that you and Joe appear to have been cyber-converted. So weight should no longer be a worry to you at all ;)
I know - but it is just bizarre. Daren't really go and pick the suit up from the cleaner - it should be baggy as hell. The biggest trousers I've ever owned were 34-inch jeans i got in a sale, and they fell down around my ankles regularly. Which had its advantages...
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