I've spent most of the weekend trying to fill in a job application form. And I'm finally at the bit where they ask for your "Hobbies and Interests". I'm stumped.
At first I just typed "Boyz and Lego" and then realised - paedo sex addict. I can't put down "Smoking" - health hazard. And my love of old green Penguin books? Are you going to interview someone who has "Crime" as a hobby?
Last year I was flicking through some applications for Finance Director at a friend's company. One applicant had put as his Interests:
"My wife and I have thoroughly enjoyed restoring our 16th Century Farmhouse, and the entire family take part in the village green cricket team that I've captained to victory for three years running."
In many ways it's a model answer - Stability, normality, leadership, team, success, affluence, heterosexuality. But at the same time... tosser.
Anyway. I'm still stumped. There's always the gaydar.co.uk checklist, which offers at random: "Armpits, Chaps, Frottage, Fur, Socks, Toys, Vacuum Pumps, and Waders". No.
I suppose I could tell them that I write a blog - but that's just asking for trouble. Would you want a potential employer looking through your past life? Although, thinking about it, I would only change two things. I'd never have had a lumbar puncture, and I'd be dating Robbie Williams. Oh shush, I'd be good for him.
4 comments:
I'll lend you mine, if you like, that might cause a stir. The "interests" bit in my "Legal 500" entry says;
"tap dancing, yoga, belly dancing and travel."
And as you correctly surmise that screams "desparate middle aged slapper!"
What about...
Architecture [LEGO]
Human Biology [Sex]
Systems of Social Intercourse [More/Varied Sex]
Astral Physics & Cosmology [Dr Who]
Furtherance of Human Emancipation [Dealing with Slave]
More and more recruitment agents are using Google to do background searches. Soon, they'll find your MySpace and know all about you.
Lippy: Tap dancing? Wow.
Dr Sibley: How very clever. I bow to you.
Mr Dirty: Yeah, I'd heard about the MySpace thing. Apparently a 5th of recruiters trawl MySpace - although quite what a picture of you dead drunk in Faliraki says about you, I dunno. Apart from that you've been to Faliraki.
I'm lucky in that I'm almost invisible in Google - hidden by a famous sculptor, sailor and swimmer.
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