Not only does Glasgow have the best gay bar in the world (The Polo Lounge), but also wonderfully friendly people. They may be after your body, or your cigarettes, but they do it in such a persuasive way, you can see why it's the home of the UK's call centres.
The other night, had a fabulous, moochy evening chatting away to complete strangers - including a female social worker dealing with alcoholism in the Highlands. "Oh, it's like a disease - some people can't drink sensibly. I mean, I'm able to call a halt to it tonight after five pints. Why can't they?"
See - marvellous new friends. There are limits, however. At one point, I was reading Vanity Fair (US recruitment policies: shocking), and a man came and sat next to me, leaned over with his elbows on the magazine and stared at me. He wasn't pretty.
HIM: Are you American?
An awkward pause. I start to break eye contact and return to my magazine.
HIM: So. Got any weird tattoos?
ME: I'm leaving.