Now, the Pre-Order is a shag that probably won't happen. It's like he's been announced on Play.Com, the packaging looks great, the special features impressive... but the delivery date keeps on slipping.
It now doesn't look as though I'll get the Pre-Order until early next year. Why?
THE GOOD NEWS: It's the subject of a bet. The Pre-Order has been bet money that he'll sleep with me this year. He's a man of principle. As am I. So we've agreed not to. And split the money.
How fantastic does that make me feel? I'm regarded as such a seductive swordsman that people bet on how long a man can elude my inevitable clutches... This is obviously marvellous.
THE BAD NEWS: The value of the bet? Er, 50p.